Running Scared
by anotherfngrl
Summary: When a case hits close to home for Tony, Gibbs does his best to help, but Tony's insecurities make things difficult.  Gibbs/Tony father/son
1. Chapter 1

This has to be a nightmare. Tony's pretty sure he's been a suspect in more murders than most serial killers at this point, and it's getting ridiculous. He still can't believe _Gibbs_ of all people has sent him home, "pending investigation". Tony knows what that means. It means Gibbs doesn't trust him in the office until the older man knows whether or not he killed his ex girlfriend. Which means Gibbs suspects it's possible that he _did_ kill his ex girlfriend.

Tony knows he was meant to go back to Gibbs' house, where he's been staying since he got back from his time as Agent Afloat. What started out as a matter of convenience, Tony's sudden return having left him no time to rent an apartment, has become a comfort to both men, and Tony never bothered going apartment hunting.

Now, though, with Gibbs' near accusation ringing in his ears, "You're too close to this, Tony, and we can't risk contamination. Just go home. I'll call you," Tony can't bear the though of sitting around in his Boss' house waiting to hear what's going on. It feels like waiting for 'Dad' to get home and find out about a fight at school, and Tony just can't handle feeling like a troublesome kid right now, when he _hasn__'__t__done__anything__wrong_. It doesn't seem to have occurred to anyone that he could be sad about Michelle, that her death could upset him. Of course why should it? It's only a month ago his old partner was murdered. They let him work _that_ case.

Well, fine, Tony decides, going up to his room and packing a small bag with a few changes of casual clothes. If they're going to treat him like a criminal, he's going on the lamb. He debates for a moment before leaving his cell on the coffee table, where Gibbs will see it as soon as he gets home. The small act of defiance will cost him, but Tony's pissed enough not to care. He picks up a disposable at the gas station anyway, programing Gibbs' number in from memory, just in case. He then stops at a bank near the house and withdraws a thousand dollars cash. No point in making it easy for McGee to track him- whether his team winds up looking for him as a suspect or a friend, he doesn't particularly want to see them for awhile.

Tony's been driving aimlessly for a couple of hours when he realizes he's more than halfway to Stillwater. If he's honest with himself, Jack's grandfatherly presence is exactly what he needs right now, but he can't exactly hide out from one Gibbs in the other's spare room. Annoyed with himself, Tony pulls into a small hotel parking lot in Harrisburg, paying cash for a one night stay. He doesn't intend to stay in Pennsylvania long, but he needs to stop and come up with some kind of plan.

A few hours later, Tony still has no idea where he's headed next or what he's going to do long term, but he is starving, having skipped lunch in his snit with Gibbs. He's driving around town looking for somewhere to eat when police lights in his rearview mirror startle him.

Tony goes cold as he pulls over. He wasn't speeding or breaking any traffic laws, and he knows he doesn't have a taillight out or anything like that. Which means Gibbs put out a BOLO on him. He rolls down his window and places his hands on the steering wheel as he waits for the officer to come talk to him.

When the cop reaches his window, Tony immediately begins speaking. "Anthony DiNozzo, NCIS- that's Naval Criminal Investigative Service, which means I'm a Fed. But you wouldn't be pulling me over if I weren't a suspect in something, so you should probably know there's a gun in my glove compartment, along with my badge, which is why I haven't gotten it out. The badge, I mean. And I have a knife in my pocket, and another in my belt buckle. I mean, my belt buckle _is_ a knife. In the interest of full disclosure, of course."

"Anybody ever tell you you talk too much, kid?" the cop, who is probably about Gibbs' age, asks.

Tony gives him a wry smile. "All the time."

The older man reaches through the open window to open Tony's car door. "Out," he says, but the command is soft and somehow gruffly reassuring. Tony's surprised to be allowed to unfasten his own seatbelt. Usually, a suspect who's known to be carrying a weapon isn't allowed to do much of anything with his hands.

Tony immediately braces himself against the car in the standard search position. "What are you doing?" the cop asks him, in that same gentle tone, as if Tony is a victim, not a suspect.

"Aren't you going to search me?" Tony asks, not moving.

"No," the officer says simply, and as Tony stands up, the other man leans into his car, flipping through the glove compartment for Tony's gun and badge. "Come on, Agent DiNozzo," he says, pocketing the items and taking Tony gently by the arm, "My partner will get your car."

As Tony is gently but insistently pulled toward the squad car, he's shocked to see a familiar face getting out of it. "Tone!" the detective calls gleefully, and it's then that Tony realizes that the men arresting him aren't dressed in blues, like beat cops, but are both wearing suits.

"Charlie?" Tony asks in confusion, surprised to see his old partner from Philly. They both left the precinct at the same time, after their sergeant nearly sacrificed them in an under cover op gone bad, and over the years they've lost touch. He hadn't even realized Charlie had moved back to Pennsylvania.

"How are you doing, buddy?" Charlie asks, hugging him. Tony returns the gesture uncertainly, still confused as to why he isn't being treated like the criminal they obviously believe he is and shell shocked that Gibbs went so far as to put a BOLO out on him in the first place.

"Clearly I've been better. What are you doing back here? I thought you were headed for the sand and sun?" Tony asks, remembering that his friend had transfered to Florida.

"I moved back up to be closer to the family. Mom's sick," Charlie tells him unhappily, and Tony puts a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder.

"What is it?" Tony asks sympathetically. The two Thanksgivings they were partners, Charlie dragged Tony home with him, and Mrs. Snyder's maternal clucking meant more to the motherless cop than she could possibly have imagined. Once, when he was out of commission for a couple of weeks after a bullet skimmed his thigh, she'd insisted Charlie drive him to the Snyder's family home in Penbrook so she could look after him.

"Breast cancer," Charlie says tightly. "You should come home with me tonight, she'd love to see you."

"Aren't I under arrest?" Tony says, wishing he could go see Charlie's mom, and feeling guilty that, even when he realized where he was, it hadn't occurred to him to pay her a visit.

The two men exchange a confused look. "You aren't under arrest, son," the older detective tells him. "Charlie, you go ahead and follow in his car, we'll head back to the station and get this young man sorted out."

Tony's stomach chooses that moment to remind him loudly that he's supposed to be finding dinner. Charlie laughs and says, "Maybe we should make that 3rd Street? Sounds like Tony could use a bite."

"And you can always pack away some of their pie," the other detective, who still hasn't introduced himself, says with an indulgent smile. "Okay, 3rd Street it is. I'll radio the station and tell them we've found our guy and we're taking a break."

Tony decides to speak up. "Um, if you aren't arresting me, could you at least introduce yourself? And can I drive my own car?" Charlie winces at his tone, but the older detective just gives him a warning glare.

"I realize I got distracted and skipped the pleasantries, but can the attitude. I'm Lieutenant Frank Madley, Harrisburg police department. And no, you can't drive your own car, Jethro warned us you might be a flight risk." He nods at Charlie, who obediently makes his way to Tony's car and starts her up.

"You know Gibbs?" Tony asks, letting himself be steered toward the passenger's seat of the squad car.

"You're less than a hundred miles from Stillwater, and you're surprised to meet someone who knows Jethro?" the older man asks as they buckle up.

"My old partner and Gibbs' friend pulling me over out of the blue was a bit of a surprise, yes," Tony says testily.

"Watch it, kid," Frank says annoyedly.

"What I'm _watching_ is a total disregard for legal procedure," Tony says angrily. "Either Gibbs put out a BOLO listing me as a suspect in Michelle's death, in which case I should be in the back seat in handcuffs, or he didn't, in which case you had no right to pull me over, or to take my car and make me come with you."

There's a moment of deathly silence as Tony's angry tirade hangs in the air between them. The Lieutenant stops the car before speaking, pulling into a parking place in front of a small, unassuming red awning. "You listen and you listen good, kiddo. You made some serious mistakes today, taking off and leaving Jethro no way to get in touch with you. He sent out an informal 'keep a lookout' that just said you were a Special Agent and he needed to talk to you, not that you were a criminal. Ten minutes after it goes out, I've got Charlie in my office worrying that something's wrong with his old partner. When he showed me the fax and I saw that it was from Jethro, I gave him a call and Charlie and I decided to go looking for you. We're on your side, we're here to help, but if you don't drop the attitude you're going to be a _very_ unhappy young man, even before Jethro gets here to deal with you."

Tony just sits there shocked for a moment. He's furious that Gibbs' friend is treating him like a recalcitrant child, and still feels hopelessly betrayed by his Boss. "Go to hell!" he says and is shocked by a sharp slap on the thigh. It's a relatively mild correction, all things being equal, but the choice of target is more reminiscent of a spank than a headslap. He instantly falls silent, big, hurt green eyes looking up at Detective Madly miserably.

"Don't look at me like that, you earned that swat," Frank says sternly, then softens and tilts Tony's chin so he can look the boy in the eye. "Hey, none of this is the end of the world. You're in trouble for taking off yes, and Jethro's understandably furious. He's never dealt well with worrying about people he cares about. But everything's going to be fine."

"Have you called Gibbs yet?" Tony asks, hating the nervousness in this voice. This whole situation has him feeling like a kid, this time one who is _deservedly_ in trouble and waiting for Dad to pick him up at a friend's house and take him home to deal with him. The worst punishments of his childhood were always the ones for embarrassing his father by screwing up while under the authority of a friend's parent, and he's not looking forward to how angry Gibbs will be about one of his old friends having to haul Tony in like a criminal. Not to mention how much trouble he's going to be in for being so rude to Frank. Gibbs is death on attitude, and Tony knows he's being a brat, even if he seems to be unable to shut himself up.

"I'm not going to call him, you are," Frank tells him, hating how scared the boy seems. If he were an actual teen runaway, Frank would be afraid to send him home, worried that his parents were abusing him. But Gibbs warned him that the kid had a troubled past, and that once he stopped "spitting and clawing" over being caught, he'd probably decide he was too much trouble and Gibbs was going to get rid of him. Still, Frank can't help feeling bad for the kid, so he cuts him some slack. "That can wait till after we get some food in you, though," he says gently, as Charlie walks over to the car.

He rolls down the window at the other detective's knock. "What's taking you two so long?" Charlie asks with a smile.

Seeing Tony's deer in headlights expression, Frank answers, "We'll be in in a minute. Go grab us a booth."

Charlie throws off a sloppy salute before doing as he's told, and Frank turns back to Tony. He's about to reassure him that Gibbs won't actually kill him when the boy speaks. "If Gibbs is worried about me," there's a note of doubt in his voice, but it's the hope under it that makes Frank want to kill whoever hurt this kid so badly, "then I should go ahead and call him."

Knowing half of what's got Jethro so worked up is the kid leaving his phone at home, Frank pulls his own cell out of his pocket, but Tony surprises him by pulling out a burn phone. "I didn't want to give them the opportunity to track my cell when they realized I was gone," he says, sounding ashamed, "But I guess I knew I couldn't stay away indefinitely."

"Good choice," Frank tells him supportively, surprised and pleased at the forethought, especially when Tony presses a speed dial number for his boss.

"I was bound to make one eventually," Tony says self deprecatingly, then visibly straightens up as his call is answered.

"Gibbs," a gruff, furious sounding voice says.

"Hey, Boss," Tony manages weakly.

"Where the hell are you?" the former Marine yells.

"Harrisburg?" Tony says hesitantly. "I was just kind of driving."

"After you took off _without__your__cell_, leaving us with no way of contacting you or even knowing if you were alive? You really went for broke this time, DiNozzo. I can't believe even you could screw up so badly. Do you have any idea how many people are wasting their time right now, looking for you?"

"Sorry Boss," Tony practically squeaks.

"I assume since you're calling me Frank found you, and you haven't just suddenly come to your senses?" Gibbs says sharply.

"He's right beside me. We're in his squad car," Tony reports.

"He had to _arrest_ you?" Gibbs' voice is deathly serious, and just about as angry as Tony's ever heard him.

"Not exactly. They pulled me over, but I was really cooperative, I mean I argued some when I found out what was going on, but I went where he told me, I swear! I'm in his car instead of mine because he's afraid I'll run." Tony's talking so fast it sounds like his words are tripping over each other trying to escape Gibbs' wrath, and the young agent has his free arm wrapped around his middle for comfort. Frank can't hear Gibbs' side of the conversation, but the boy beside him is clearly extremely well chastised and near tears, so he reaches over and plucks the phone from his hand.

"Calm down, Jet. It's me, the kid's fine, he's been no trouble at all." At Gibbs' snort he amends, "Well, he's got a mouth on him, but nothing I can't handle. My boy Charlie and I found him a few minutes ago, and we're taking him to get something to eat."

"I have half a mind to tell you to toss him in a cell," Gibbs says angrily.

"I wouldn't do it," Frank says seriously, and Gibbs' common sense catches up with his anger and he realizes what he's just said.

"Aw, hell, Frank," Gibbs says, and Madley can hear his old friend go from furious to concerned all over again. "How upset is he? Must be pretty bad if you took the phone."

"Affirmative," Frank says, not wanting Tony to know what's being said. Gibbs sighs, and Frank says, "Tell you what, Jethro, I've got an idea. You know Charlie and Tony go way back to Philly? Well Charlie's mom's something of a mother hen, and it sounds like she's got a soft spot for your agent here. She's a great woman, I'd hate to deprive her of the chance to cluck over the brat, so how about I send him home with Charlie tonight and you meet us up here in the morning?"

"That bad?" Gibbs asks, knowing Frank is trying to give Tony a chance to calm down before facing him.

"Yep," the detective says, watching the miserable special agent in his passenger's seat out of the corner of his eye. Tony's pulled his feet up into the seat with him and has curled up into a ball of misery.

"Okay, I'll see you in the morning. Call me as soon as you've got him settled?" Gibbs sounds more like a worried parent than a supervisor, and Frank finds himself fighting a smile. He's glad this kid has broken through his old friend's walls- there was a time when he though Jethro would never let anyone in again after he lost Shannon and Kelly.

"Will do. We can meet at the station in the morning. Ten okay with you?" Frank asks.

"Make it 0800."

"Jethro, it's a two and a half hour drive- Oh, fine, eight am it is," Frank capitulates, realizing his friend isn't likely to get much sleep with Tony missing anyway.

"Call me. And Frank? Thanks," Gibbs says, hanging up.

Frank hands Tony his phone back. "Looks like you and Charlie are having a sleepover."

"I already rented a hotel room for the night," Tony almost whines.

"We'll go check you out after we eat," Frank says matter of a factly.

"I _am_ an adult. If I want to spend the night in a hotel room I've paid for, then I don't see how it's any of your business, as long as I'm not committing a crime," Tony argues.

Frank nearly yells at the kid, but takes a deep breath and stops himself. Tony could try the patience of a saint. Which, he thinks, might be the point right now- to force a confrontation that either gives him an excuse to run again or leaves him waiting in disgrace for his Boss, the way he clearly feels he deserves to be. "Do you not want to see Mrs. Snyder, or are you just being difficult?"

"Charlie's mom is great. I just... I haven't seen her in years. She's sick and I didn't even know. I had no idea Charlie was even back up North. I fall off the face of the earth, and years later I'm in trouble and I show up at their door? Mrs. Snyder doesn't want to deal with me."

"Charlie called his momma when we went hunting you. Told her you'd gone and done something stupid and might be in the area, and she told him he'd better bring you home with him!" Tony looks shocked at this pronouncement, which makes Frank mad for some reason. "What'll it take to get it through your head that there are people in your life who care about you? Charlie and Mrs. S. are both excited to see you and would have been any time you bothered getting in touch with them. And Jethro is worried sick about your stubborn hide. You worked somewhere between Philly and DC, right? What about a partner there? They off worrying about you because you're too stubborn to call?"

"My partner from Baltimore died last month. Our old major murdered him. So no, he's probably not so worried about whether he's on my Christmas card list this year," Tony snipes angrily. Frank opens his mouth to speak, but Tony continues, "I guess you could say Danny's death was my fault for not staying in touch- I left because I found out he was dirty, and the day he died he called me to tell me he'd found out the major was dirty too. Only I didn't pick up and the major shut him up before he had a chance to tell me. I arrested the asshole myself, that's got to count for something."

"Tony," Frank begins. He never meant to open up such a well of guilt in the younger man- it hadn't occurred to him that Tony could be dealing with anything so serious. But this bit of 'tough love' seems to have pushed the young man over the edge.

"Don't," the Special Agent bites out, suddenly going hard and deadly. "You're right- I'm a jerk who doesn't form meaningful relationships, and when I do, I up and abandon them the first chance I get. Hell, the only reason you've even met me is because I did a runner on Gibbs. And on that note," Tony hops out of the car. Frank follows and manages to catch him around the back of the squad car, pinning him gently against it.

"Calm down, kiddo," he soothes, not letting go of the struggling young man underneath him. "That's not what I meant at all. I've known Jethro a long time, and he wouldn't keep you around if he didn't think you were something special. And Charlie's a damn good judge of character, as is his mama. They all seem to be rather fond of you, and I'm inclined to take their word over yours, considering the circumstances."

"Gibbs thinks I'm a murderer," Tony says flatly.

"What?" Frank asks, shocked.

"He thinks I killed Michelle. He wouldn't let me help with the investigation so I didn't have a chance to contaminate the scene."

"Jethro does _not_ suspect you of murder. I'm one of his oldest friends. Do you think he would have let me go hunting you down without warning me if he thought you were capable of that?" the Lieutenant reasons gently, letting go of Tony but staying close to grab him again if necessary.

"Then why did he send me home?" Tony counters, straightening up and brushing his jacket off pointedly.

"Conflict of interest? You dated her," Frank points out.

"Months ago. We only went out a couple of times. And he let me work my old _partner__'__s_ murder. That hit a lot closer to home."

"I'm not going to speak to Jethro's motives. You need to discuss that with him. All I can tell you is what he told me. He knew the case would upset you, and he sent you home because he was trying to spare you. Clearly it was a mistake, but he was just being overprotective," Frank assures Tony, privately wondering if anything he's saying is penetrating the wall of hurt he sees so clearly in the boy's eyes.

"Whatever," Tony says, closing the conversation. "Look, lets just agree to disagree and catch up with Charlie. I'm starving."

Frank sees that Tony is too overwrought to listen and allows him to lead the way into the restaurant. They all order: just coffee for Frank, coffee and pie for Charlie, and a huge burger and fries _followed_ by pie for Tony, who is apparently ravenous. The meal is actually quite pleasant. Tony probes Frank for the story of how he knows Gibbs, and takes obvious delight in tales of high school football, where his Boss was the quarterback that took Stillwater all the way to state. The young man has a clear case of hero worship going on for his Boss, and Frank finds himself enjoying telling stories of his past and his adventures with his old best friend for an appreciative audience. Charlie soaks up the tales almost as eagerly as Tony does, enjoying learning about his mentor's youth.

Frank insists on treating the boys, and reflects on the complicated ties between all of them as they wait for the check. Charlie is five or six years older than Tony, and treats the boy like a younger brother. That's clear from his watchful, protective gaze and the mild scolding Frank overheard him deliver when he returned from a quick trip to the restroom, chastising his friend for going to ground when he was upset instead of calling for help. He's proud of his young detective's behavior during this unusual situation- his loyalty to Tony is truly impressive, but at the same time, he's kept a cool head on his shoulders and taken very good care of his shaken former partner.

Frank has always played a somewhat avuncular role with Charlie. The young man had a hard time trusting anyone when he joined the Harrisburg force, a remnant of the disaster in Philly. But at the same time, he was dealing with serious family issues in his mother's illness, and desperately needed someone to trust and confide in. Somehow, Frank managed to earn this brilliant young man's faith and respect, and he's done his best to be worthy of them ever sense, guiding Charlie into becoming the great detective- and man- he knows he can be.

If anything, Jethro's bond with Tony is even closer. His old friend mentioned during their short call after Frank read the alert that Tony was actually living with him, and had been for about a year. He also confessed how concerned he was, remarking at one point that, "At least when Kelly ran away from home, she didn't leave the yard." The comparison shocked Frank. He'd been best man when Jethro married Shannon, and had adored Kelly all her short life. He knew firsthand how devastated his friend had been by her loss. Gibbs equating his feelings for Tony to how he'd once felt about Kelly told the detective just how important this young man was to his old friend. For that alone, Frank would do just about anything for this kid. He never expected Jethro to let anyone past his walls again, but there's something about the young Italian, even on a day like today, which has obviously been awful, that just pulls you in and makes you want to take care of him.

After dinner, they all return to the station. Frank allows Tony to drive his own vehicle with Charlie riding shotgun, but when they get there and return the squad car, he lays down the law.

"Now, you boys are spending the night with Mrs. Snyder," he reminds them. Charlie has an apartment, but he spends a lot of nights in his family home, just to be close to his mom.

"Yep. I called mom while I was waiting on you guys at the restaurant, and she's making up the foldout you usually use," Charlie tells Tony matter of a factly.

"Usually? I haven't seen you or your mom in a decade, Charlie. I don't think there is a usually anymore," Tony says, ducking his head. He's still ashamed he went so long without getting in touch with them, Frank can tell. Luckily, Charlie notices it too.

"Trust me, everything's exactly like you remember it. Except, of course, that I've continued to get better looking with every passing year," Charlie jokes.

That gets a smile out of Tony, and Frank changes the subject, knowing Tony's not going to like what he's about to say. "Okay, so you boys take Charlie's car and leave the keys to Tony's here with me. We'll lock it up in the yard overnight."

Tony immediately bristles. "You don't trust me not to run off in the middle of the night?"

"Just removing the temptation," Frank says easily, reaching out a hand for the keys. Tony obediently hands them over, even as he continues to protest.

"It's my car. I don't want to leave it here, I want it with me. I'm an adult. Where I drive is my business, and I'd never sneak out without saying goodbye to Mrs. Snyder anyway," the young agent defends himself.

"And you know she'd be after you with her spoon if you even thought about it!" Charlie jokes, and Tony winces good naturedly. Frank just smiles at the boys, confident that Charlie's mom is more than capable of handling anything they throw at her. Sick or not, she's one of the most impressive women he's ever had the pleasure of meeting.

"You boys should head on out. It's getting late," Frank tells them.

"Almost bedtime for an old geezer like you!" Charlie teases good naturedly.

"Watch it boy, this old geezer can still kick your ass!" Frank jokes back. "I'll be over at seven for breakfast, so be ready to go then, and don't give your momma any trouble." Frank ruffles his detective's hair affectionately as he speaks, and Charlie grins at him.

"Me? Trouble?" he says innocently.

"Yes, now git!" Frank commands, swatting Charlie on the ass to get him moving.

"We're going, we're going! No need to get rough," Charlie mock-gripes, grabbing his old partner by the arm. "Come on, Tone, quick, Frank gets cranky when you keep him out past his bedtime." Pulling a slightly shocked looking Tony toward his car, Charlie retreats.

Frank watches them go with an affectionate smile before making his way to his own vehicle. He needs to get home and call Jethro- they've obviously got a lot to talk about.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well guys, guess who's back? Sorry for abandoning you for so long. I let one nasty person kill my confidence. So if anybody's still interested, here's chapter two. Gibbs and Tony don't interact at all this chapter, but I needed to set things up, and poor Tony needed a hug, which I doubt he'd have gotten from Gibbs (or would he? ;) ) And I promise updates will be more frequent from now on- say, no more than a week between chapters. Let me know if you're still interested!**

Lieutenant Frank Madley has known Jethro Gibbs since they were in high school, so he knows that "Call me as soon as you've got him settled," means exactly that, so, not wanting his old friend to worry more than necessary, he makes the call as soon as Charlie's taillights disappear from the parking lot.

"Gibbs," his friend answers, sounding even more gruff than usual.

"Jethro, it's me," Frank says immediately, as he makes his way to his car.

"Sit rep," Gibbs barks, his tone oddly muffled.

Madley laughs. "The boys are on their way to Mrs. Snyder's now. Just left."

There's movement before Gibbs speaks again. "Okay, now tell me how he's doing."

"You sound like you're in a tin can," Frank says.

"Elevator," Gibbs corrects. "Now, Tony?"

"Is about as fine as he can be, under the circumstances. The kid's a mess, Jeth," Madley tells him bluntly.

"He's my mess," Gibbs says defensively.

"And well worth the effort, I'd guess," Madley soothes. "That's not what I meant. But Jeez, can't a guy catch a break? Dead ex partner, dead ex girlfriend..."

"He told you about Danny?" Gibbs sounds surprised.

"I kind of... upset him," Frank admits. "Got annoyed when he went all self pitying over whether the Snyders even wanted to see him after so many years, told him they cared about him, you cared about him, and how many other people in his life had he walked away from? He said I was right, and if he hadn't walked away the partner might still be alive."

"The guy signed his own death warrant accepting bribes," Gibbs says angrily. He tried to be supportive for Tony's sake, when they found out originally and when Danny was killed, but he's never forgiven the man for doing what he did, for compromising his partner's trust in him and hurting Tony.

"Figured it was something like that. But that kid... He's carrying around a lot of guilt. Somebody sure did a number on him. The only reason he could work out for you sending him home was that you suspected him of murder." Frank's only just met Tony, but he's already furious with whoever hurt the kid so badly. The insecurity radiated off of him when they discussed Mrs. Snyder, but his desperate worry over what Gibbs thought of him was even more painful to watch. Madley knows his old friend well enough to know that, while Gibbs may ride his team hard, there's no way he's said anything to the kid that would cause the raging self doubt he witnessed today.

Frank can feel Gibbs' glare through the phone. "Of course it never occurred to him I was concerned, and trying to help. He always thinks it's something he's done. Damn it, Mad, am I really that much of a hardass?"

"You're tough, Jethro, but when it matters you're always there for the people you care about. You may not always say it, but how you feel is usually pretty clear. Now, Tony... I'm not going to guess about what happened to the kid, but whatever it was, way back when, back before even Charlie knew him, it messed with his head. Got him thinking he wasn't worth anything, that nobody'd ever really want him around."

"Aw, hell, I know that," Gibbs says, sounding guilty. "And I shouldn't be surprised he's jumping to conclusions with how many times he's been accused of murder."

"What?" Frank asks, shocked.

"Framed. Some lab tech with a grudge, an ex girl friend with a grudge..." Gibbs says despairingly.

"The kid has a way with people," Frank laughs.

"Ya think?" Gibbs takes a deep breath. "How bad is it, Frank, really?"

"He's working himself up into more and more of a mess by the hour. Thinks you've betrayed him and runs off, only to run into his old partner and decide he's betrayed Charlie himself, the whole time not letting himself grieve the dead girl or the dead partner." Frank pulls into his driveway as he finishes the explanation, and he almost misses Gibbs' muffled curse as he gets out of the car.

"Sounds like Tony." Gibbs is torn between the pointless anger he always feels when Tony gets like this, wishing he could kill whoever hurt his boy, and his own guilt, because he should have known better than to let Tony out of his sight right now.

"To be fair, Charlie had nearly the same freakout when we got the bulletin. Said he hadn't called Tony in years, that he'd let the kid down just like everybody else. Still, with the way things blew up in Philly, I can see why those two cut and ran as far and as fast as they could," Frank muses, voice filled with old rage as he remembers Charlie's broken, drunken retelling one night long ago.

"Philly? What happened in Philly?" Gibbs asks immediately. He knows Tony worked there, and that Charlie was his partner, but as far as he knows nothing particularly memorable happened.

"He hasn't told you?" Frank asks, shocked.

"He hasn't told me _anything_ about Philly, except that he worked there and that he got bored and left," Gibbs says.

"He didn't get bored," Frank tells him. "He got out for the same reason my Charlie did." In the silence that follows, Frank can practically feel his old friend glaring. "Oh, no you don't, Jethro. There's no way I'm getting into this now."

"Well, whatever it is, it's making this mess even worse, isn't it?" Gibbs asks.

"Probably. Seeing Charlie must be bringing back all sorts of memories," Frank admits.

"I'll be there in a couple of hours," Gibbs says, hanging up before Madley can argue.

The Lieutenant knows there's no point in calling his old friend back and trying to change his mind. It was probably stupid to expect Gibbs to wait till morning to come up. Frank himself wouldn't be able to sit around at home if Charlie were miles away and this upset, so he decides to just accept the situation and makes up the guest bedroom. Then he gets out a bottle of good bourbon, leaving it and two glasses on the coffee table.

When Gibbs arrives, he'll explain about Philly and do his best to keep Gibbs from rushing over to the Snyder's before dawn. Morning will be soon enough for the NCIS agents to reunite.

As prepared as he's likely to get for Gibbs' arrival, Frank lies down on his couch to take a nap. He doubts he's going to get much sleep once his old friend arrives.

They stop to check Tony out of his hotel room on the way to the Snyder family home, and yet again the special agent does his best to convince his friend to just let him stay in his hotel room. Annoyed, Charlie decides he's going to have to go ahead and talk to Tony. He was hoping his partner would calm down on his own, but apparently a bit of tough love is in order.

Gesturing for Tony to sit down on the end of the hotel bed, Charlie perches against the desk. "You're being a real shit, you know that?" he begins. "First, off, lay off Frank. He's just trying to help. Whining and arguing about everything he tells you to do isn't going to change anything, and sooner or later he's going to get fed up and you're going to wish you'd kept your mouth shut.

"And when we get to my house, you are going to drop this 'I don't want to be a burden,' bullshit. Mom's ecstatic. She can't wait to see you. You aren't going to ruin that for her, because the next time you see her may very well be her funeral. She's tough, but even Mom isn't invincible, and this cancer is serious. She came out of remission again a few months ago," Charlie fights to keep control of his emotions as he speaks. It's not going to help if he gets worked up too.

Tony looks miserable when he interjects. "God, Charlie, I'm sorry. I had no clue. I'd have been here in a heartbeat if I'd known."

"Well, now you do. So just spend some time with her. She worried about you when we left the precinct and you vanished off the face of the earth," Charlie says, trying to reassure Tony that he'll be welcomed with open arms.

But Tony just looks even more chastened. "I've really fucked everything up. Just how mad are you?" he asks, harking back to an old conversation they used to have when Tony screwed up, or just thought he had. He'd never had anybody worry so long as he got results before, much less care when he didn't, and Charlie's furious lectures when he took stupid risks and concern when things went wrong caught him completely off guard. It took Charlie months to get through to the kid, but it was worth it and he's pleased to see Tony is at least still willing to acknowledge their bond.

"Six," Charlie says easily. He's clearly given it some thought. Six out of ten is pretty serious though, and Tony winces. "Tone, you basically ran away from home today, and you're an emotional wreck. You _need_ someone you can trust right now. I gave you your space when you wouldn't answer my calls after how things went down in Philly, but I can not believe you took off this upset, wound up in my _home town_ and didn't call me or mom. Enough of this lone ranger shit, Tony, it's going to get you killed!" The older man shouts the last bit, furious about the way his friend always pushes others away to lick his wounds in private.

"I'm sorry, Chuck. I wasn't thinking clearly. I thought you were still in Florida. I didn't even know I _could_ call you. I was wandering around on autopilot when you guys found me. And it's great to see you, but now you're mad at me because I keep doing stupid shit, and your mom will be too and I just can't deal with any more people being mad at me right now," Tony says desperately.

"Then stop doing stupid shit," Charlie says reasonably.

Tony laughs hollowly. "You have no idea. But none of this is going to matter in the morning. Gibbs is going to kick my ass, then he's going to fire me. I'm going to have to go work for Fornell, and working for an agency that once charged me with murder is going to _suck_."

"Wait, they _charged_ you with your ex's murder? Who? And who's Fornell?" Charlie asks, confused.

"No, they charged me with the murder of a woman who wasn't actually murdered. My best friend's assistant framed me- but don't worry, she got him. It's a long story. 'They' is the FBI. And Fornell is another of Gibbs' friends, who works there. He's who arrested me the first time I was accused of murder."

"Jesus, Tony, what the hell has happened to you in the last decade?" Charlie asks, shocked.

"Well, after the plague it was all pretty boring," Tony jokes, and Charlie freezes.

"You're kidding. Tell me you're kidding. You're not kidding, are you? You had the plague? The honest to God Middle Ages plague?" Charlie asks in shock.

"I got better," Tony tries for a British accent, mimicking Monty Python, but Charlie's too upset to be entertained.

"God, Tone," Charlie says, standing up from the desk and moving to hug his old partner. Tony stands as he approaches, but nervously, as if he doesn't realize concern and affection have replaced Charlie's anger. He still rises to meet his old partner, and is shocked to be pulled into a bone crunching hug.

"Charlie?" Tony asks, surprised and concerned about his friend's sudden upset.

"You could have _died_, Tony, probably way more than once," Tony snorts amusedly at that, and Charlie tries not to think about how many times his friend has probably cheated death, "and I never would have known. Mom'd find a way to get in touch with you if something happened to me, but no one would have known to call me for you."

"I'm sorry, Chuck. I'm really sorry. I was running and I didn't even stop to think about what besides the PD I was leaving behind. You hate me?" It would never occur to most people that the person currently hugging them to death might hate them, but Charlie knows Tony is genuinely worried.

He lets go, facing Tony and holding his old partner's shoulders to remind his friend to make eye contact. Tony still hates looking people in the eye when he thinks they're mad at him. "I could never hate you, Tony. You're like a little brother to me. But you've got to stop this. You can't keep running away every time you're upset, trying to get away from the people who care about you. This Gibbs guy has the right idea- he's not giving you any choice about coming home, is he? He cares about you, Tone. Let him."

Charlie's deathly serious. He can see Tony working himself up, knows his friend is convincing himself that Gibbs will never forgive him for running off, that his Boss hates him now and it would be better for everyone if he just disappeared. That's Tony's usual solution to just about everything, to just run off before he has to deal with the fallout of any emotional situation.

"He's just pissed because I broke rule three," Tony says miserably. At Charlie's confused look, he explains, "'Never be unreachable.' He's going to kick my ass on principle, even though I wasn't active when I left."

"If he's pissed, it's only because he's been so worried about you. I was there when Frank called him. He was really scared something was going to happen to you," Charlie explains, trying desperately to make Tony understand.

But the NCIS agent just snorts. "Gibbs doesn't worry. Well, about anybody but Abs. She's like a daughter to him."

Charlie just shakes his head in frustration, but he finally releases his grip on Tony. "You'll see. Just trust me on this one, Tone. Now, let's get out of here. Mom's waiting."

Tony follows obediently, but he's subdued in the car, and when they pull up to the Snyder family home, Charlie can see him mentally putting on a happy, carefree face. "Stop it, Tony," he says quietly, but his friend just smiles at him.

"Stop what? I'm just excited to see your mom," Tony lies easily.

"No, you're terrified, and you're trying to hide it. Mom will see right through you, she always does," Charlie scolds.

"It's been a lot of years, Charlie. And she can't think much of me anymore, after the way I ran off." The mask has dropped, at least, and Charlie knows there's no point in arguing with Tony when he gets like this. Better to let him see for himself.

"Just come on in," he insists, pulling his friend's duffle out of the backseat and leading the way into the house. His mom is waiting eagerly in the living room, the way he knew she would be, and she stands immediately when she sees her son.

"Where is he?" she asks, her voice just a little unsteady.

Tony, meanwhile, follows Charlie in, but seems to be trying to hide behind his old partner. "Right here, ma'am," he says quietly, stepping slightly to the side so she can see him.

Charlie steps quickly out of the way as his mom crosses the room to hug Tony. "Oh, sweetie, it's so good to see you!" she says, her voice wavering. "How have you been, dear? It's been so long." She pulls back slightly to see Tony, and she clearly has tears in her eyes.

"It's good to see you too, ma'am," Tony says, clearly flustered, and Charlie hides his smirk by taking Tony's bag into the office/ guest room. There's no way his mom is going to put up with her favorite lost boy calling her 'ma'am'.

"That's Mamma S to you, as you well know," Mrs. Snyder reprimands, smiling hugely but still looking like she might cry. "Oh, honey, I've missed you," she says, pulling him close for another hug.

"I'm sorry. I should have called," Tony says guiltily.

"After everything that happened... I can understand wanting a fresh start," she says, shaking her head as she remembers the disaster that drove the boys out of their old precinct. "But you've a place in this family, Tony, and please don't ever forget that. I promise I won't nag, but-"

Tony cuts her off, "I'll be better about calling, I promise. I mean, anything would be better, but I'll keep in touch this time."

"Thank you, dear," Mrs. Snyder says gently, then loops her arm in his. "Now, I've been baking while I waited for you boys to get in, so there are fresh chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen."

Charlie is waiting for them in the kitchen, sipping coffee. "Mom, your tea's almost finished steeping," he says, passing her a mug as the Keurig beside him comes to life. "And Tony, that's your cocoa."

Mrs. Snyder throws away her teabag and gestures to the cookies. "Help yourselves, boys."

Tony and Charlie each take several fresh cookies, and they spend a pleasant half hour just catching up in the kitchen. Tony just lets it all wash over him, enjoying hearing about what they've been up to and offering a highly edited account of his own life. It's been a long and stressful day, though, so it's not long before he's stifling yawns.

"Tony, why don't you go ahead and go to bed?" Mrs. Snyder says, gently taking his now empty mug. When he hesitates, she tells him, "Charlie will help me clean up here. Go on and get settled."

Tony obediently heads for the spare room, remembering the way after so many nights spent here when he came home with Charlie. The sense of nostalgia he feels and the comfort of it surprises him as he returns to the familiar room and unpacks his pajamas and toothbrush.

He goes through his nightly routine by rote before settling down in bed, although he's stressed enough he's not sure he'll be able to sleep. He's about to turn off the lamp on the bedside table when there's a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," he says, sitting up when Mrs. Snyder opens the door.

"No, no, you don't need to get up, I just wanted to come check on you," she says, coming to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. She runs a gentle hand through his hair, cupping his cheek to look at him, clearly worried. "You look so upset. Charlie didn't want to tell me what's going on, he said it was your business, but if you need to talk, I'm here."

"I've screwed everything up," Tony says before he can stop himself. "I _missed_ you guys, but I was worried you blamed me for Charlie getting hurt-"

"Stop that right now," Mrs. Snyder interrupts. "You were not to blame for what happened. If it hadn't been for you, Charlie might not have made it out at all. Don't look so surprised, he told me everything back then, including how you saved him. Don't ever think we blamed you, or stopped loving you."

Tony just gapes at her, and she wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. He leans uncertainly into the embrace as she speaks. "Charlie always wanted a little brother, growing up. He loved Amy, but he had his sights set on a brother. And the first time he brought you home, I realized he'd finally found one. You became family to all of us." She reaches up to stroke his hair again, and this time Tony relaxes into the touch.

"I- I love you guys too. All of you. You and Charlie were the first people to ever make me feel... connected. Ever since I lost my mom. And then Charlie almost died, and it was like losing my family all over again, and my dad used to blame me, how could you not?" Tony asks desperately.

The woman holding him seems small, delicate even, but there's fire in her eyes when she answers, and he knows she's fiercely protective of those she loves. "Because we know you, Tony. Even if there'd been a question that you could have prevented it, we'd have known better. We knew you'd never hurt Charlie. He'll never tell you this, but he blamed himself for how everything went wrong. He'd always had doubts about that sergeant, and he felt like he should have spoken up, or at least warned you. He thought maybe you disappeared without a word because you felt like he'd let you down."

"Never," Tony says desperately.

"But both of you blamed yourselves, you see? Because the truth is neither of you could have done anything better in that situation, but we always feel responsible when something happens to someone we love. When I lost Carl, I used to worry that it was my fault. That he drove through the storm because he knew I wanted him home with me and the kids, and it was my fault he was out there to get hit," Mrs. Snyder confesses. "But it wasn't. Terrible things happen. Bad people hurt those we love. It isn't our fault we can't see them coming, and hiding from love doesn't help."

"What if there's no bad guy? What if you're just stupid, and you make the person you care about into the bad guy in your head and run, for no reason?" Tony asks sadly, remembering his fury at Gibbs and his stupid choice to leave DC.

"Frank's friend?" she asks gently.

"He's my boss, but he's always been there for me, protected me, believed in me. Even when I screw up. He kicks my ass when I need it, but he never gives up on me. And this is how I repay him? What am I gonna do, Momma S?" It's the first time he's used the old nickname all night, and she feels her heart swell with affection even as it's breaking for the poor, hurting boy in her arms.

"All you can do is say you're sorry, and try to explain why you got scared," Tony looks up at her sharply, surprised. "Yes, scared. Something happened that reminded you of being hurt, and your instincts took over and you ran. Just like you did from us. But we understood, because we love you. And this man will too, or he doesn't deserve the trust you've put in him."

It's Tony's turn to surprise her now, as he turns to wrap both arms around her, hugging tightly and burying his face in her neck. She returns the embrace immediately, but begins to worry when he doesn't speak. "Tony, are you okay?"

He loosens his grip enough to look at her. "Yeah, actually, I think I am," he says, sounding surprised at his own words. "I just- I mean, I'd never have seen you again, if Charlie hadn't seen that fax and come looking for me. And you're right here, and you still-" he falters, unable to say the word, "And I'm so lucky to get a second chance. I promise I'll stay in touch better. I'm so, so sorry for ever doubting you, and Charlie."

Momma S leans forward and places a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Forgiven," she tells him, knowing he needs to hear the word. There's a difference in 'We still love you.' and 'You're forgiven.' and Tony's smart enough to notice it. She's unsurprised when he practically falls back into her arms, and she hugs him tightly. This moment is an answered prayer for her, and she's unbelievably grateful to have this troublesome young man back in her arms.

She runs her fingers through the spiky brown hair buried under her chin again before she speaks, feeling Tony lean into the caress. "Listen carefully though, young man, if you ever try to disappear on us again, I'll send Charlie after you, and you'll be a very sorry little boy when he brings you home. I know your work is unpredictable and you won't always be able to call regularly, but I love you, and I won't- I can't lose you again."

The gentle, scolding warning is the last bit needed to relax Tony completely, as she knew it would be. Tough love always works better on the boy than simple affection, and she knows he needs the security of knowing they won't let him get away again, because he's never had much faith in his own ability to make the right choices.

"I also expect you up here for a proper visit as soon as you get the chance. It doesn't sound like you're going to have time to see Amy tomorrow, and we all need to catch up properly and just spend time together. You haven't even met Gabe, or Mikey."

Tony sits back up. "Who are Gabe and Mikey?" he asks warily.

"Gabe is Amy's husband. They've been married six years. And Mikey is my three year old grandson, their little boy." She's surprised when the dark cloud of guilt returns to his eyes.

"Amy's married and a mother, you're sick, and I wasn't here for any of it. I don't know how you can love me, or forgive me. You've been there for me, over and over, and I've been selfishly hiding out just a few hours away, the whole time," Tony says, clearly furious with himself.

"You're back now, though. Yes, it was pure chance and luck that we found you again, but that's as much our fault as yours. Charlie could have typed your name into a database at any time and found you. He didn't, and I didn't make him. Amy asked him to before the wedding, and he wouldn't, because he was scared you wouldn't want to see him. Fear, insecurity and guilt have kept you away from us long enough. It's time both of you boys let it all go. Charlie will be getting the same lecture soon enough."

Tony looks a little stunned by the vehemence of her reply. "I'll try, Momma S," he says bravely.

"That's all I ask," she tells him, finding his hand and giving it a quick squeeze. "Now, your boss is going to be here bright and early for breakfast, so you'd better get some sleep." She stands up and helps him settle the sheets and blanket back around him. He looks a bit embarrassed that she's basically tucking him in, but she just kisses his forehead and says, "Sweet dreams," before shutting off the light and leaving him to get some rest.

Tony expects to lie awake most of the night worrying, but his conversation with Momma S has reassured him, and the emotional upheaval of the day has been exhausting, so he drops off to sleep quickly, knowing morning- and Gibbs- will arrive soon enough.


End file.
